Pages and Strings [Chapter 2]

"Hello." That was your first word to me as you offered me your hand. You were there, in front of me, at that very moment. Everything was a blur... every movement, a still motion and all I could see is you. Confusion; written all over my face but still I tried to keep my composure. You smiled reassuringly as if reading my thoughts. I realized it’ll only a take a word from you to shake my heart. With all the strength left in me, I smiled and said hello as I reach for your hand.

When I offered you my hand today, it was my heart I was offering. The moment you took my hand and shook it, it was my heart I gave for eternity. Now, I know I’m yours forever. You looked at me with those sparkling eyes and before I knew it, I was glued to where I was standing. I wished for the time to stop, for the moment to freeze and for the world to stop spinning. In that particular moment, it was just you and me. Everything else is just faded photographs. I was completely overwhelmed by your angelic face that I forgot what I was going to say. Yes, I must have looked so foolish. But it didn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re here... with me. With nothing else to say, I called your name.

“Seohyun...” I heard you say... Suddenly, my face felt hot and I must have blushed. How could you know my name? For all this time, I thought I was just a ghost to you. But I heard you right... you called my name. Thousands of theories raged through my head. How could you possibly know??? As if reading my thoughts, you looked at me so gently, your kind eyes urging me to put out all the inhibitions I have... I was captivated by the warmth it gave and the tranquillity it encompasses. In those eyes, I saw a promise and I accepted it so easily... just like the handshake you offered... For once, I wanted to call out your name. For once, I wanted to say... I belong to you forever.

Here I am in my room, playing my guitar and thinking of you. Yesterday was definitely the best day of my life. Before running to that cafe, I was cursing the weather and blaming myself for forgetting the umbrella. After seeing you that day, I threw my umbrella away and hoped for another rain. When that happens, I would run to that cafe again and I would find you waiting for me. I laughed... Wishful thinking, I told myself. I find it amusing when fate plays with us. It certainly has a way of dealing its card; often times unpredictable... It’s like opening gifts from my last birthday... I may be disappointed at times, but most of the time, surprised. I laughed again at my train of thoughts. I’m starting to think like this now huh? Must be the after effects of meeting you...

It was just yesterday when fate brought us together. It was an ordinary day... a day similar to all my other days - just religiously following my every day routine. I was there to learn new things from a book, sip a cup of tea, listen to classical music and enjoy the serenity of the surrounding... Without expectations, you came running in that cafe and in my head, I replayed every scene from that meeting; trying not to miss a single detail. I wanted to decode your every move but I couldn’t seem to solve the mystery. It’s becoming more mind boggling; puzzles after puzzles, more questions rather than answers. It is raining today and the air is cold... reminding me more of yesterday. The weather must be mocking me. I shook my head and smiled. I’m even smiling a lot lately. Must be the after effects of meeting you...

I’m not a morning bird. In fact, waking up early is probably number 2 in my hate list. Still, I went to school early today so as not to miss the chance of seeing you because in fact, ‘not seeing you’ has recently jumped up to number 1 in that list. I waited for you at the main university gate, anticipation burning in my nerves. Suddenly, my sweat glands started to react. Drops of sweat formed at the top my brows and I started to wipe it using my hands. Then I realized too late that my hands are not free from the symptoms of anxiety, if that is what you call it. I started kicking the ground then paced back and forth to ease my tension. I hoped with all my heart that you would come. The heavens must have taken pity in me and heard my plea for I saw a girl with a long straight hair and a smile in her face, descending from a white van. I waved at you. You are more beautiful than the last time I saw you. You looked at me for like 10 seconds... perhaps trying to recall if you know the face of that silly guy waving at you. And you must have remembered me for you waved back. What a relief. You remembered me. That’s a good sign. I wanted to jump for joy at the very moment. One step at a time... I told myself. I waited and watch you walk towards me.

I always wake up earlier than most people do and go to school an hour before my first class but I came a little late today. Still on time according to the clock but a little late according to my way of things. It’s not due to lack of sleep [which is entirely your fault by the way... okay partially mine too] although I could really use another hour of sleep. It is because I know you go to school 5 minutes before your class and I was hoping I would bump into you. Although it was awkward when we first met, the idea of seeing you again makes my heart skip a beat. I realized I became more self conscious... taking extra time in picking out clothes to wear, blow drying my hair and even applying face masks the night before. People at home must have noticed these changes in me for they are looking at me suspiciously. I don’t blame them. I couldn’t imagine myself doing these things before. The van finally came to a full stop, interrupting my train of thoughts. I became more nervous and hesitated in opening the door. I thought of going back home but I couldn’t miss the class so I went down the van. I thought I saw you waving at me. I was befuddled. I looked again carefully. It was really you. I considered looking at my back to make sure it was me you’re calling. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself. But then you gave me this particular look; the same look you gave me when we first met. I waved back and watch you wait while I walk towards you.

I come to know you more but I feel like I haven’t scratched the surface yet. You are deeper than I thought. You are as innocent as a lamb yet your points of views are more defined than older people I know. You’re philosophies - solid as a rock and your heart – soft as wool. I find it ironic how you look so fragile – that I feel the need to protect you; yet you are mentally strong – not allowing other people to change you. You are different from all the girls I know. Unique. Intriguing. Alluring. And the list could go on forever. The more I discover you, the more I fall in love with you. Sometimes, I may not understand your reasoning for we are two different people but that’s what I like about you. You make me want to be a better person. Strive more. Be more. Dream more. There’s nothing I would change about you. Just like the strings in my guitar, each one unique and every tune different. Change a string’s pitch and the whole chord would go off key. Let the string be in each respective tone and the chord would be just right... Just like you. Perfect as it is.

Today, you waited for me at the university gate and I saw anticipation in your face. My heart stood still when you asked if you could walk me in my class. It was not a request; there’s an air of authority when you told me this. As if letting me know that I am yours; as if letting me know that it’s you who I belong to. There are no words confirming this but words may not be necessary. The way you look at me, the smiles you give me, the way you move when you’re around me are confirmations of your feelings for me. As I come to know you more, I understand you better. You’re not the type of guy who says your feelings out loud, yet you make sure I know how you feel by showing me. Whenever I’m loss for words, you open up a conversation and brighten up the mood. You didn’t mind looking silly. But I never once thought you looked silly. You are careful when you’re with me, as if afraid of hurting me. Still, you make me try new things; open my mind to new ideas. You allow me to soar high and encourage me to reach my dreams. You may be stubborn at times, can get jealous of other guys so easily and gets upset in the littlest of things. But I won’t change a single thing about you. Like pages of this book; tear one piece and you would be lost. Omit a chapter and the story’s incomplete. Just like you. Perfect as it is.